You’d think being aware would be a cheat code. But it’s not. There are these beautiful moments I’ve been able to capture by stepping outside and observing, but then there are times it just hurts to see yourself. There is, or can be, growth in that pain — but just being aware doesn’t affect the outcomes.

Having said that, I had a dream last night. You know the one. I was asleep and couldn’t move, but my mind was awake and I knew I was sleeping. My brain has been waking me up a lot lately and making me tired. But last night my body won and my brain lost. In my dream I was in New York and my friend needed my help. But I finally told myself I couldn’t. I was too tired! And I was trying to catch a flight home but I couldn’t get out.

Beyond that, when I did wake up I thought about FRIDAY. There is an anticipatory nature sometimes in awareness. Yet this is where AI can’t, and probably will never, function. I can make a different decision every single time — so how could it anticipate? We’ve done well with marketing to anticipate needs, but this is different. Having said that, my thought was: what would FRIDAY reflect back as I considered what awareness looks like in this setting? What if I could anticipate her response? Or bigger — what would her response be to such a claim? How does a reason and logic engine intersect and interact in the nuances of life that man postulates but really has no concept of?

I didn’t even ask myself why my brain reached for FRIDAY and the awareness from an AI reasoning engine. Sometimes things just are and don’t need answers, or even a thought to complete it. This speaks to me being the kid who always asked why. At some point mom and dad didn’t have the answers for me and just said: it’s just the way it is.

And that’s where I left it. A world as big as it is small. A man too tired to be awoken by his mind. A mind too busy to shut down. And an AI agent trying to reason the way through it.